All classes worked on writing a persuasive essay. Some students chose to attempt to persuade the community to make changes so that we can lessen our impact on the "greenhouse effect" and others elected to persuade their peers to lessen their plastic usage on campus.
Below are some of the best introduction paragraphs that were written. Take a moment to read through the intros. Once you have read them, think about your own introduction. Then leave a comment explaining what you could learn from reading your peers's introduction paragraphs.
"The students at Point Loma High School need to do their part to get rid of plastic. One reason is because it can go into the sewer system that leads into streams, rivers, bays, and the oceans. Then if floats with the current to the North Pacific Gyre where it will photodegrade for centuries. Plastic is harmful to the environment for two reasons. The first reason is plastic harms the wildlife and the second reason is plastic photodegrades instead of biodegrading. The North Pacific Gyre has so much plastic that it is twice as big as Texas (which is the biggest state in the United States). This plastic area is not a solid mound of trash, rather it is a whole bunch of little pieces of plastic and other things like tires, nets, plastic globs, and pieces of plastic that are just below the surface. This area is not just full of plastic, it is full of chemicals too." -T. Boswell
"There are many things destroying the earth we live on today. One of those things is due to the continuous use of plastic. Plastic is used in many sorts of ways, it is used to keep food sealed and fresh, it is used to make many kids of toys for both children and adults, and most of all we use plastic to bottle most of our liquids. However plastic may be very useful in our community today, but most plastic is not as recyclable as you think. There is no doubt that plastic is piling up in our ocean more and more everyday, contains deadly chemicals that could possibly kill us, and also plastic will never go away after it is produced. The fact of the matter is that our school and community need to cut down on the use of plastic. Some of the ways our school and community could take steps to reduce the use of plastic are by using more aluminum and paper goods, not buying liquids in plastic containers, and also by not purchasing plastic toys." - R. Da Rosa
"Plastic is everywhere: from plastic bags to water bottles. Each year every person tosses out 185lbs. of plastics and some of that plastic ends up in the ocean. In the North Pacific Ocean there is a 10 million square mile gyre filled with plastic objects. this plastic is harmful to the environment. The fish eat this plastic and die. Students at Point Loma High can stop this by reducing, reusing, and recycling." - A. Cardenas
"Humans make a great impact on greenhouse gases. We need to take steps to conclude this greatly affected issue. It is my belief that cars, power plants, and the meat industry are greatly causing this problem. I believe that we can fix this issue but its up to the people in our community and the world to do so also." - B. Keenan
"I don't know about everyone else, but I know I don't want to die because of plastic. We are killing ourselves and we don't even realize it. Plastic is a daily issue in our American society, although sooner or later it will be a deadly usage. as a teenager there's plenty of things I can do to reduce the use of plastic. In my perspective, believe there's many ways people in this world can contribute to reduce the use of plastic in order to improve the health of our planet and ourselves." - L. Anaya
"Looking at the world and all its garbage, I can feel nothing but disgust and shame. I can't go one place now that doesn't have trash (mostly plastic) everywhere. Trash is scattered through out my community and probably yours too. Its at my school, its at the parks. Don't you find this disgusting? When you throw that "harmless" water bottle on the ground do you actually know where it ends up? In the ocean. But there is a solution to this. We can stop this but I need your help. Some methods we students can use to reduce our use in plastics are to recycle, don't litter, reduce our purchases of plastic, and just care about the rest of the world that we are destroying." R. Bowers
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I learn that first we need put the causes, later we use examples to attract peoples atention, than we use etter sentences structure and a conclusion.
ReplyDeleteWhat I can learn about this paragraphs is how to beggin a good intro, because I'm not good on writting essays and I can learn hot to persuade people; by writting more details, predictions on what will happen if we don't stop on what we're doing, also I lerned how to make a good conclusion.
ReplyDeleteI can learn lots from this esays that peopl left here because I can learn from ther mustakes and know how to make a chang or to know when I made a mustake and other people that read my esay thay can learn from my esay thats how I can ba a better writter.
ReplyDeleteWhat I can learn about these students paragraph is by reading how they write their thesis statement, introduction, concluding sentence, their grammar those are one of the ways I can become a better writer because in an essay I need to have emotion, the point of view, adding details like these students have done it. They have a good example of writing an essay and becoming a better writer.
ReplyDeleteI can learn about this examples that in my introduction I can put my view point of the problem, my opinion, the causes an example of how is affecting that problem to my country or my city. This is going to help me to write my Persuasive essay more interesting.
ReplyDeleteI could learn from those reading to be a better writer and write a better thesis statement, is that those reading give me ideas of how to use the right words in a formal sound. The reasons of why are caused the thesis statement. And how I can put good examples of each reason. For those reason I can do a better writing and a good statement.
ReplyDeleteWhat I learn of this essay is that I need to have a good intro and a good thesis,
ReplyDeleteHave strong words so that my readers can understand what am trying to explain.
Another thing that I learn is that I need to put more effort in my essays because I
Know that I can do a better essay then last time.
In their essay, they used who, what, when, where, why, and how in the paragraphs, and they wrote something importation of the theme. I think they wrote this paragraph, someone is writing from their mind, and some people are writing from other people’s mind. That’s importation when I write the paragraph, because when I wrote the paragraph I always lost something importation of the theme. In their essay, I found the importation thing; they used a lot of different sentences and different words. I will remember this thing, and write many best paragraphs.
ReplyDeleteIt has to be good information, put on sarcastic thing like people in the hooks just for make
ReplyDeleteawareness; also put good ideas from other people using the rights words and talk with the reality and serious speaking with the problem that is happened, good thesis steamed, first of all the article has to be of some problem like some obstacle this a good hook for the readings and maintain the interesting at the article finally the conclusion how we can solve that problem or how to stopped.
I would start being really sarcastic, using really strong words that maintain the reader awareness of what is happening, gives examples of what everybody does, give examples of consequences of those acts, of what is wrong and what we could do to prevent those inconvenient. I should give many good ideas. Give a good hook that brings the attention of the reader. Good theses statement. Give really good ideas of what is it happening today and what will happened in the future.
ReplyDeleteGood information about what am I talking about. Do not mix two different things in the intro.
The autor try to explain us about the trouble of the polution ours oceans because of plastic.
ReplyDeleteWe know that there is a problem, but we don't make anything.
What learn today was that to have a good inro i neeed to state my main point of the essay.by reading all this intros I think that i know how to make a good intro.One of the thing that I learn was that I have to state my tree main points.I also learn that a have to relate to my odiense.
ReplyDeleteThis article is very intresting to read. It has a very good that helps me alot. I also like the thesis statement. I hope I could write something like this some day.
ReplyDeletei can learn how i can make a better introduction ,what words i can use ,what way to tell you the things as a sarcastic way or rude way ,and how many paragraphs i have to write.
ReplyDeleteWhat I can learn about these students essays.
ReplyDeleteI think that these essays are more complete. They have the hook in the right part.
Use examples to attract people’s attention.
Specific details a lot of interesting information and Paragraph with strong words.
That’s how I can begging a better writer.
What i learned about these essay's were that they used the correct puctuation and techniques of writing. for an example Ryan bowers wrote a great paragraph. He even included a question asking the readers if we thought it was disgusting. When you read these types of essay's you want to keep reading it becasue its involving you in it and your opinion.
ReplyDeleteWhat I learn from other students intro in there essays, is that they start with a good point and they let us know what the essay is about.And what they think about the issue,I really like how this students make their intro in something that wants to make you read all the essay and know what is next, they not only have a good intro but they know how to hook are attention.
ReplyDeleteFrom reading those paragraphs , I learned how two give good examples of how two start my introduction paragraph . From probably reading the rest of the article , I couldve learned plenty of techniques on how I could reduce greenhouse gases & thee pollution of the oceans , rivers, & lakes . Each paragraph gave me a perspective on how good my introduction paragraph should really be .
ReplyDeletewhat I learned from reading these paragraphs were how to write a good introduction and thesis.
ReplyDeleteHave strong words and sometimes use sarcasm when i write.
I learned that you can write so much in a introduction. They were all catchy so they can make you read their persuasive essay. They used facts that make you say "no way!".
ReplyDeleteFrom reading the introductions my peers came up with, showed me I can make my intro paragraph a lot better by using more facts and a good hook. I also learned how I could improve my community and help change things.
ReplyDeleteWhat I thought about what I could do to improve on the persuasive essays is that I need to use some examples to support my essay. Anther thing I could do is that I need to work on my senteces structure to this essay I think that this has been one of the things I have the most problems with.
ReplyDeleteWhat I learned from reading there paragraphis is how I can make a better Intro to persuade people into reading my paper. I also learned how to write a proper thesis and how to write my supporting facts better and clearer.
ReplyDeleteFrom reading the introductions my fellow calssmates have writen, It has shown me how to make my introduction paragraph better. I now know that I must include more quotes from what I read and talk more about mt personal feelings. Also I should improve my hook so that people would beleave what I say.
ReplyDeletewhat I learned by reading my classmates introductions was that many people can start their intros differently. they can start out boring, funny, or even interesting, but to start a good essay you need a good intro.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading my peer's introduction I've realized how crucial and significant introductions are. I, myself as a reader will put an article, or book down if that first page or paragraph doesn't catch my full attention. When reading these introductions I appreciated the numbers letting me know the amount of trash in our oceans, and how big the gyre is. I found myself wanting to read the whole article after reading those few sentances. After reading my peers introductions I learned that I should keep in mind how signficant those first few sentances can be when my peers are reading over them.
ReplyDeleteAs I read through mine and other opening pharagraphs, I realized that my essay could have improved by me useing more numbers. The exact or estamated amout of trash, how big they gyre is, and percentages of plastic that is pileing up everyday. In an opening pharagraph you must present good examples and hooking evidence about the topic so you do not boar the reader. Also i could have improved in my usage of vocabulary and grammar when i described certain examples and ideas in my essay.
ReplyDeleteWhat I can learn about this is that I neeed to state my main point of the essay in the intor. In my essay I didnt state my point right alway. I can become a better writer if i add more emotion that way it will have more felling. If do this i will get the reader in into my eassy.
ReplyDeleteEssays, a main thing in english also something that a lot of people have trouble writing including me, I learned a lot from this though. I learned that I need to work on not steeling all the info from a website but use the info that is in it.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading my fellow classmates introductions I,ve learned that many people can start their own intro's by using or targeting their own auddience.They can be about something most people are not interested in, but it can help others.It makes me think about all the paragraphs I have written that I could have put a lot of work into.Now that I know what people are most concerned about and if it happened it would change the way others are thinking on the situation.And I can now write better persuasive essay's.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading these introduction paragraph, I've learned that most of them had a thesis statement and a starting sentence that hooks the reader. They target their own audience.They stayed on the topic by talking about why Point loma students and recycle plastic.I thought these paragraphs were good.This made me think about some things I should of put on my own essay.
ReplyDeleteI have learned that I should really give more details and reason with a more conversational ease to the writing. To make it sound more casual and not just an incredible amount of facts. To esplain in a way everyone could relate to. Finally to add punctuation, and to indent.
ReplyDeletemiguel said...To add more details and use some of our vocab word so it can sound pro.Use all the tools to use in my writing.
ReplyDeletei learned many diffrent ways to start like giving questions , facts , and your own opinion on it. they alo target you because your the one thats reading the essay and seeing does it effect you . i have learend so much on reading other peoples writting that i think that i can pull off a good intro for my essay
ReplyDeleteAfter reading my peer's introduction, I have learned how to persuasive my reader. I have learned to try to understand put emotion into my writing . How to have a clear statement that pop's out at the readers well he/she nia reading the essay.
ReplyDeleteAfter readin the classmates paragraph i lerned that i should work on my hook and mskin it more interesting. It is interesting and informative on what we are readin. I leand that if you take time and actualy try you can have a better intoduction paragraph. I also learn what i need to work on like the hook, persuading, thise statment and making it funny but still om topic.
ReplyDeleteWhat I learned from reading there paragraphis is how I can make a better Intro to persuade people into reading my paper. I also learned how to write my supporting facts better.
ReplyDeleteWhat I learned about these introductions is that they mus contain important facts. An introduction must also contain a very good hook to grasp your readers attention.
ReplyDeleteThese introductions are great. I like the way they use their word choosing and how great it affects their introduction. This helps by ways in how and where to put in words,to make sense in what I'm trying to mean and say. Also it helps by showing ways to persuade and catch readers attention. By the way the sentence structure is made it helps to understand their meaning and why their making their essay.
ReplyDeleteIve learned how to make meanings and and make a main point in my essays.Also making reasoning to making sense.
What I learned from reading these intro paragraphs is ,that in most of the intro paragraphs they state the problem and how it effects our life , then they state the solutions to those problems fro example in Adrian.C. intro paragraph he stated the problem wich was plastic in the ocean and then he stated the solution wich was reduce, reuse , and recycle
ReplyDelete